No matter where I am in the world, I will always celebrate your birthday with a cupcake, and wear your favourite colors. I had a cupcake for you, like I usually do. I didn’t get to visit today, like I usually do on your birthday, but I will visit you this weekend. You know, the usual things we normally take for granted. I wonder what you would be like, what you would like, what kind of activities you would be doing, how well you would be doing in school. I only know you as that almost 4 year old precocious little girl. I just wish I could know you as a 12 year old. I was surprised how much you didn’t look like your sister when she was a baby. You were the teeniest, cutest little baby with such beautiful big eyes. Happy birthday to you, sweetheart! Twelve years ago I was so excited when you were born, and I couldn’t wait to meet you. She’s going to do such amazing things with her life.Įvery second of every minute of every hour every single day, I miss you.
But I will be there to support your sister and parents on this monumental milestone.
I wish I could donate, but I’m not allowed to, for now at least. The day after your birthday will be our final blood drive. I couldn’t visit you that day, but I hope I’ll be able to for your birthday. I’m proud of myself that I didn’t get too sad last week on the anniversary. You were laid to rest today, and I remember feeling the saddest and the most helpless I still haven’t felt since that day.
Enough of me though, I just can’t believe it’s been 10 years, Ava.
What I can say is what had tried to kill me made me so much stronger mentally, and a lot less afraid of the unknown. So much has happened to me with my health, and I’m just trying to get through it the best I can. There have been so many times when I wanted to come here and write to you. Hi, sweetest girl I know it’s been some time since I last wrote.
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